Asian Sweetheart 2.0

That’s a great page AS, really interesting reading! Thankyou

love the matrix – your first good post on the subject of Thai/Farang relationships (although you didn’t write it )

I’m glad you came by to comment. I think you put a lot of effort and are brave to publish that matrix. For me, I’m a little bit clumsy when I talk about Thai ladies and foreign men in relationships and I always get attacked, sometimes even when what I write is not my own opinion but just reporting others’. Mostly it’s because I don’t give positive opinions about the relationships in the first column of the matrix and a lot of foreign men get very angry about that.

I read the comment on your blog by Alessandra. Anytime I hear a western woman talk about relationships between western men and Thai women I always hear something other than the words they are saying – I hear some jealousy and resentment. So I’m never sure to take their words serious. There is a lot of truth in your matrix but I think she resents any women being put into categories. The truth is that many people fit into categories without a lot of “varies” or “wide ranging”. I have seen a lot of variation in She Group 4 and 5 but not so much in the others. I think your matrix is pretty accurate.

Dear AS, I would like to say that it is great there has been a widening of the description of foreigners and Thais in relationships from categories 1 and 2 – into the matrix. My relationship mostly falls into 4 and the author has hit the nail on the head. The reason I get upset about foreign/Thai bar girl posts and entire forums dedicated to that topic is that is ‘smears’ other categories of relationships. I am so pleased you have posted something beyond commenting on old foreigners marrying young Thai women from Issan. Well done !

@AS, regarding your observation on Western women’s jealousy and resentment about Thai (female)-Farang (male) relationships, I’m not sure if it’s necessarily jealousy. Resentment perhaps, if they have a cause to feel it and I guess many do.

Obviously Alessandra “resents any women being put into categories” as you said – and she is entitled to feel that, but I think her feelings may have something more to do with having different cultural perspective. In her view my putting my fellow countrywomen in categories (like dog breeds as she put it) was reprehensible as it objectified Thai women.

But from my perspective, the issues of social class and background are important in Thai-farang relationships. Given stereotypes, misrepresentations and dubious assumptions that are mostly based on lack of information (which often result in confusion, headache and heartache), I wanted to offer something accessible to many foreign men who are potential seekers of relationships with Thai women. (Yes, I’m sick and tired of the usual rants “All Thai women are…[enter any epithet]”, too)

The class issue is often something Western people overlook, don’t really understand or underestimate. I personally dislike classism and people looking down on others based on their status and background. But in Thailand class is a reality and even if you don’t like it you need to be aware of some important considerations that are *sometimes* class-related.